October 15

October 15th is infant and pregnancy loss remembrance day. It's a day, appointed by Congress,to reflect and honor those amazing little lives that left us too soon and provide support for the parents of these sweet angels.  I first became aware of this special day in 2009 when a friend who had a loss let me know about it.  Less than two weeks later, I suffered my first miscarriage and became one of those parents this day was intended for.

Unless you have such a loss, there is no way to really know what it is like.  While I can't speak about infant loss, I can say that the two miscarriages we experienced were hands down the hardest and most trying times I have ever endured.  They rocked me to my core.  Most people assume that once you have had your baby, previous miscarriages are not as difficult and you move on.  For most, that just isn't the case.  Even now as I hold my baby on the "other side," I have a hard time looking back on those times.  I am conflicted.  One the one hand I have this amazing little baby and my incredibly difficult journey is what brought me to him and for that I will always be grateful.  On the other hand, I see this sweet little baby and can't help but wonder about the two babies before him and what they would be like.  Would they have the same sweet smile, the strong personality or even the double cowlick?

I don't know why these losses happen and why I had to have it happen twice.  All I know is that I will hug my sweet baby extra tight today and be so thankful that he has two sweet angels looking out for him.

So please keep in mind today all those whom you know have suffered a loss.  Odds are everyone knows of someone who has had one and probably knows many others who have had one that haven't spoken about it.